My fiance and I received from our officiant this list of questions to consider and discuss before getting married.  I found it extremely helpful.  I’ve narrowed the list down to the most intriguing.  If you’d like the whole list, email me Edson{at}DiasPhoto{dot}com and I’ll be happy to send it to you.  Here it is:

Finances:

1. One account or separate?
2. How will each contribute?
3. How will you handle your bill paying?

Household duties:

1. Who will do what?
2. Will each of you have a “space”?

Children:

1. Do you plan to add children to this union?
2. If so, how many?     Birth or adoption?
3. Are there any family illnesses/conditions that might affect your children?
4. What will be the division of child care/discipline/responsibilities?

Events and holidays:

1. Which holidays or anniversaries are important to you?
2. Whose family will you spend which days with?
3. Have you discussed the continuation of existing friendships?

Religion or spiritual practices:

1. Do you have a preferred religious/spiritual practice?
2. How will you handle this component in your life together?
3. If there are children involved, how will this be handled?
4. Have you discussed end of life issues and wants?

Future:

1. Have you discussed your dreams/plans for the long-term future?

Communication:

1. When and how do you best communicate?
2. When you have difficulty in communicating?
3. Have you discussed pet peeves – or annoyances?
4. Do you trust your fiancé with the full truth? Both to give the full truth and receive the full truth?
5. Do you know how to fight fairly?
6. Do you agree on fidelity issues?
7. Do you have an agreement on how to keep your communication open?
8. How do you want to be cared for when you are ill?

10.  Do you feel that you can truly be yourself?

11.  Can you talk openly about your likes/dislikes sexually?